Member-only story
A Check Up
Ah, dear Constant Reader. Your face is so beautiful. I’ve been stuck with my nose down in the dirt so often lately, I almost forgot how pretty it is. Come’ere, give me a smooch, let me pinch those chubby cheeks. Oh, please- I’m just kidding- you’re actually looking very slim. Yes, I notice those kinds of things.
I’m ecstatic to report that despite all my fears of a literary wasteland, people still read. Would you believe it? And they’re even reading my poor excuses for entertainment. I’ve just breached the one dollar mark for my earnings on Medium, and though that might not sound like a big deal, I’m rather giddy about it.
Writing isn’t about money. It never has been for me, or will be- unless the little capitalist demon I keep locked up deep inside my stomach somehow manages to break free. In which case, I imagine I’ll start buying up property and eggs and selling them back to the masses at greatly inflated prices. *Insert maniacal laughter*
Still, turning the punches on my keyboard into dollars on my screen is an exciting concept, and something I never thought would be possible. Not for the likes of me anyway. Since I began on Medium, I’ve somehow managed to get two articles published, one in Dr. Funny, and another in Human Parts.
